Chuck Roots
6 November 2017
www.chuckroots.com
Aspirations of
Progeny
In the 1950s, the beloved Arthur
Gordon “Art” Linkletter had a TV show that was always entertaining. Perhaps the
best-known segment of this weekly show was, Kids
Say the Darndest Things! Well, I’ve got a couple of my own!
A couple of years ago I bought a new
cell phone. It was the iPhone 6Plus. On my previous phone I had two or three different
apps I had downloaded that acted as flashlights. With my new phone I went
looking for my flashlight apps to no avail. So, I was standing in the kitchen
fumbling with the phone, wondering where these apps were when then
seven-year-old granddaughter Alyssa says, “I’ll show you, Granddaddy.” I
sheepishly handed over my phone while having this sinking feeling that I was
about to be shown up by a second grader. My premonitions were correct! With one
deft swipe of her little finger she made another screen appear on my phone. She
quickly tapped the glass surface and Voila! A very bright light came on. She
handed the phone back and resumed working on her homework.
At this point I should have left
well enough alone. But, Nooooo, I had to step right in it. I said, “You were moving too fast for me. Show me
what you did.” She gave me a patient, parental look, reached for my phone
and said, “Granddaddy, the new iPhone 6 comes
with a flashlight app built in.” “Oh,”
I said. “I didn’t know that.” It didn’t
even occur to me that a flashlight device was built in. I just stood there with
what I can only assume was a foolish look on my face. Alyssa simply returned to
her homework.
Just a few weeks ago friends from
Texas came to visit. Of course we got around to talking about our grandkids and
showing our latest pictures of this newly emerging generation. The way Frank
explained this story about one of his grandkids, the college being attended by
this grandkid was very expensive. On a recent visit with this progeny they
asked what they were planning to do once they graduated from college. Without a
moment’s hesitation, the child said, “I
want to be a professional dog walker.” Our friends were stunned, to say the
least. Several hundred thousand dollars for the best education money can buy to
become . . . a professional dog walker! I looked it up – “An average dog walker salary in New York City is $45,000.” I may
come out of retirement.
Brooklyne is our other granddaughter,
nine-years-old, who lives about a half-hour from us, so Isaura and I are fairly
active in her life and grandson Colson’s on a weekly basis. Isaura was down
taking care of Brook and Colson a few Fridays ago when Brook announced to Meema
(Isaura) that she knew what she wanted to be when she grew up. My wife, of
course, encouraged her to share this revelation. The conversation had been
about Brook’s natural artistic abilities which prompted my wife to suggest she
might pursue that as a career path. Brooklyne quickly nixed that idea. “No, I don’t want to do that. I want to be a
lawyer!” Somewhat surprised at this pronouncement, Isaura then asked, “Why do you want to be a lawyer, Brook?”
Brooklyne smiled and said, “Because
lawyers get to argue. And I’m really good at arguing!” We all had a good
laugh at that! I believe Brook could convince me the moon is made of cheese!
My last foray into children and
their career choices brings us back to Alyssa, now nine-years-old, but turns
ten later this month. A couple of weeks ago, our daughter Laura, asked her
daughter Alyssa, what she wanted to be when she grows up. Well, we all know how
much she loves animals, having expressed interest in becoming a veterinarian
before. So, she pops off with this comment, “I
want to be a vet, or a professional horseback rider . . . NO!” Leaving her
parents in suspense, she then says, “I
want to be a professional bed tester!” Our son-in-law Ken, says, “A what?” Alyssa responds, “You know, Daddy! A professional bed tester where
you take naps on beds and get paid for it to see how comfy they are.”
Okay, so I checked on how much a
professional bed tester makes. The motel chain, Travelodge, has a professional
bed tester who makes $53,000 a year! I’m seriously thinking about coming out of
retirement now!
I can’t wait to hear what Colson
wants to be. Right now, he’s only five and isn’t thinking about careers just
yet. At least I don’t think he is.
When I was their age I wanted to be
a fireman riding a big red fire truck with a Dalmatian riding in the seat. Or a
professional baseball player (Yea for the Houston Astros – 2017 World Series
Champs!). That was about the extent of it for me.
But I do think I might be cut out
for this bed tester job. I’m sure there’s a phone number I can call. Where is
that number? It’s right here somewhere . . .
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